I’m discovering how to help my son deal with disappointment. It’s not easy. All I want to do is protect him and give him the desires of his heart. It shouldn’t be hard to do that. He simply wants to play high school baseball.
However, our local school district won’t allow homeschoolers to play any public school sports. We have found a nearby Christian school where he is allowed to play, but our state ruling sports association won’t allow him to play because he’s out of the attendance zone. We’ve been through so many papers, phone calls, and emails that I can’t keep up. Today they finally told us “NO” and stop asking.
My sweet, baseball loving, intelligent, hard-working 16 yr old young man is not allowed to play baseball because of prejudice against homeschoolers. He looked me in the face today and said, “Why can’t I just play the game?’
It broke my heart. What do I tell him? I had to pull out my Bible and remind myself of a few things.
1 – “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” John 15:19
We are not of this world. Our home is in heaven and when we deal with disappointment, it is a great reminder of this. We will be uncomfortable, unfulfilled, and always carry a longing for a better place. I must remind my children of this. How else can they deal with the heavy disappointment they will face daily in this world? People won’t like us, our cars will break down, friends will betray us, loss will come our way. How we deal with that reveals our true character, which depends heavily on our relationship with God.
2 – 9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:9-11
If it hurts me this much to watch my child struggle, how much does is grieve God to watch us struggle? When we are going through the valleys, we must remember that God is watching and wants the absolute best for us. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
God promises that no matter how dark the valley may seem, He is right beside us, walking along and comforting us, if we allow Him to do so. My son could be angry and run from me, but he has chosen to talk with me about it. He has chosen to pray about it. He has chosen to trust that God is sovereign and knows the future.
3 – 14 Do everything without complaining and arguing, 15 so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people. Philippians 2:14-15
There are ways to get around these rules, ways to lie and cheat and allow him to play. But what would that teach him? How would we look to God? How would we have any voice as Christians by choosing to disobey the rules in place, no matter how unfair?
1 Peter 2:19 says, “For God is pleased when, conscious of His will, you patiently endure unjust treatment.” My son is learning this principle well. It hurts to be treated unjustly. It is difficult to keep looking up when everything around you is weighing you down. But we must remember to TRUST Him. Trust is an action verb. We must decide every minute if we really do trust God with our lives. If we do, then we can’t allow fear and depression to rule our lives.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
We will not give up. He will continue to press on and prepare for next baseball season, because it is what he loves.
“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4
Onward and Upward!!
Oh my how this post touched my heart and soul. I can very much relate to everything you have written here. We, too, homeschool and we live in a rural area where we have no homeschool sports teams available for our two boys to participate in. We encounter the same situations with every sport and sometimes even 4H event we try to get involved in. It breaks there heart and thus mine. Thanks so much for pulling out God’s words for encouragement.
Lisa, I’m so sorry your children are encountering the same obstacles, especially in 4-H. We are blessed with an amazing, supportive 4-H program that embraces our homeschool club. As homeschooling increases, maybe we will get better treatment with awareness of the prejudices that do occur. Prayers for your family!